How I spend my new year's eve

Hehehe... iseng banget yaks gw...

Iyah.... gara2 seharian tidur... - abis cuacanya enak banget buat ngelingker dibawah selimut...- gw jadi yakin banget dah ntar malem bakalan gak bisa tidur lagi.... :D Jadi sibuk nge list mau nonton pelem apa yah malem ini:

Dari berbagai macem film, ini dia pilihannya:
1. Bridget Jones Diary
2. Love actually
3. The Switch (Padahal seminggu ini udah 2 kali nonton ni pelem)
4. The Holiday
5. New year's eve
6. Notting Hill
7. Closer

Cukup kali yak 7 pelem buat begadang :D

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What friends are for

After I decided to break up with him... to be honest I went through really tough time... Not to mention internal problems with Mom and Bro... I was breaking down... I even thought that Death would be much better than anything...

In day time... I tried so hard to be tough... so people will not notice about my probs... but when I was alone again in my room at nite... I was breaking down... I feel like I can't survive... I just wanna go ... away... faaar away... just me myself and I...

On Friday nite... I silently cried... Thinking that I can't take it anymore... It's just too much... I didn't know whether I can survive or not... Then I randomly open my Blackberry contacts... And I found my best friend name on top of it... I sent her some messages... I told her that I really wanna go... I can't survive... I wanna die... and some other digress talks... It was 11.30 PM ...

Then she replied... She tried so hard to comforting me... She tried so hard to make me think clearly again... We chatted via BBM until 1 AM.

And on the next day... I went to my Dad's grave... I really still needed to release all of my pain... I just wanna talk and cry to my Dad... I really needed him to hug me like he used to hug me when I was kid...  After that... I went to the gym... My friend said that she will wait until I finished the gym... and then we met... 

At that time actually she had another appointment with her big family... She asked me to come with her family... but instead of joining her family, we went to separate restaurant... and talked for hours... She let me pull out the burden I have inside... she's really comforting me...

She told me the things that I've never heard before about me... She told me about my strength... my weakness and how I should cope with all of my burdens...

I really appreciate what she has done to me... I owe her HUGE time...

So grateful to have her as my best friend, dearest neighbor, and of course my shoulder to cry on ...

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Aching breaking heart ----- Story of my life

OK...

• Delete his contacts : checked
• Delete all of his / our photos : checked
• Put away his gifts : checked

Another broken heart part that I've to go through again...
Surprisingly I didn't cry at all when I came to this decision... Enough is enough...

Udah capek juga bok nangis... Udah bbrp bulan terakhir nangis mulu malem2... dengan segala rupa gaya... tinggal nangis gaya kayang aja yang belum gw lakuin...

And now... I just feel numb... mungkin belum berasa banget kali yaks... tau dah ntar2 nya gimana kalu udah bener2 gak kontek2an lagi...

Insya Allah gw tegar... Harus... Insya Allah... Gw yakin banget semua rencana yang Allah SWT siapin bwt gw itu indah... sangat indah... tinggal gw nya aja yang harus terima ikhlas semua keputusan Nya... :)

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Mother's day... I love you Bunda ... Abundantly

   

Masih ada aroma2 hari Ibu kan yaaah... :D ... Well... kemarin2 belum sempet nulis...

Gak tau nih... tau2 aja pengen nulis tentang Bunda...

Kalau ada orang yang nanya ama gw... siapa siy orang paling penting dalam hidup loe? Pastilah jawabannya Bunda... I won't be who I am today without her.

Satu hal yang gw yakinin banget... Gw gak akan seperti gw sekarang tanpa doa Bunda... Gw yakin di setiap doa beliau selalu tersebut nama gw... (eh iya gak yah... tapi kayaknya iya deh... bukan GR nih :p )

Tanpa doa dan restu beliau gw gak akan bisa kayak sekarang. Makanya gw marah banget kalau ada yang bilang, "Don't you think you're too old to put your Mom on top of everything?" ...

"Well dude, she's my everything... And she will always be." Di kaki beliau surga gw berada... Gw boleh beribadah jungkir balik kayak apa, puasa berhari2 kayak apa... Gw boleh punya karir setinggi apapun... tp begitu Bunda gak ngerasa ridho or tersakiti hatinya ... DARRR... that's it... kelar deh...

Udah gw alamin beberapa kali loh, percaya ato enggak... Bunda ngerasa sedih gara2 gw sedikkiiiiittt aja ... langsung aja terjadi sesuatu ama gw... addaaa aja... yg gw kecelakaan mobil lah... yang gw jatuh lah... yang gw ampir keserempet motor lah... macem2 deh...

Makanya tiap kali gw ngerasa sedikiiiit aja bikin Bunda kesel or sedih, gw langsung minta maaf sambil cium beliau... cium kakinya bahkan kalau perlu...

Gak tau kenapa yah... Kayaknya Allah SWT tuh pengen banget ngedidik gw supaya taat ama Bunda. Mungkin mengingat dulu perjuangan beliau waktu melahirkan gw... selama 36 jam menahan sakit karena gw gak mau keluar2... dan akhirnya harus di operasi Cesar...

Hehehe... makanya sekarang, kalau gw gak bisa ngapa2in... Bunda selalu omelannya sama, "Kamu tuh yah, emang dari jaman masih di kandungan juga gak punya inisiatip, gak bisa cari jalan keluar sendiri" hehehe.

Well, that's my writing about Bunda.

And, lemme say this again, out loud and proud...

"BUNDA, YOU'RE MY EVERYTHING"

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Heloow again... :)

Ueddaaannn... dah lama banget yak gw gak nulis.... Huuhuhu... kesibukan di kantor baru... dimana gw masih harus adjusting di sana sini bikin gak sempet nulis... padahal banyaaaaaak banget di otak gw yang pengen gw tulis di blog...

Padahal juga, udah nge download apps blog di android ... tp tetep aja gak sempet2...

*ya nasib...

Terlallu banget... selama tahun 2013 masak nulis blog kurang dari 10 kali... berarti not even once a month... Hadeeeuuuh...

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