After I decided to break up with him... to be honest I went through really tough time... Not to mention internal problems with Mom and Bro... I was breaking down... I even thought that Death would be much better than anything...
In day time... I tried so hard to be tough... so people will not notice about my probs... but when I was alone again in my room at nite... I was breaking down... I feel like I can't survive... I just wanna go ... away... faaar away... just me myself and I...
On Friday nite... I silently cried... Thinking that I can't take it anymore... It's just too much... I didn't know whether I can survive or not... Then I randomly open my Blackberry contacts... And I found my best friend name on top of it... I sent her some messages... I told her that I really wanna go... I can't survive... I wanna die... and some other digress talks... It was 11.30 PM ...
Then she replied... She tried so hard to comforting me... She tried so hard to make me think clearly again... We chatted via BBM until 1 AM.
And on the next day... I went to my Dad's grave... I really still needed to release all of my pain... I just wanna talk and cry to my Dad... I really needed him to hug me like he used to hug me when I was kid... After that... I went to the gym... My friend said that she will wait until I finished the gym... and then we met...
At that time actually she had another appointment with her big family... She asked me to come with her family... but instead of joining her family, we went to separate restaurant... and talked for hours... She let me pull out the burden I have inside... she's really comforting me...
She told me the things that I've never heard before about me... She told me about my strength... my weakness and how I should cope with all of my burdens...
I really appreciate what she has done to me... I owe her HUGE time...
So grateful to have her as my best friend, dearest neighbor, and of course my shoulder to cry on ...
In day time... I tried so hard to be tough... so people will not notice about my probs... but when I was alone again in my room at nite... I was breaking down... I feel like I can't survive... I just wanna go ... away... faaar away... just me myself and I...
On Friday nite... I silently cried... Thinking that I can't take it anymore... It's just too much... I didn't know whether I can survive or not... Then I randomly open my Blackberry contacts... And I found my best friend name on top of it... I sent her some messages... I told her that I really wanna go... I can't survive... I wanna die... and some other digress talks... It was 11.30 PM ...
Then she replied... She tried so hard to comforting me... She tried so hard to make me think clearly again... We chatted via BBM until 1 AM.
And on the next day... I went to my Dad's grave... I really still needed to release all of my pain... I just wanna talk and cry to my Dad... I really needed him to hug me like he used to hug me when I was kid... After that... I went to the gym... My friend said that she will wait until I finished the gym... and then we met...
At that time actually she had another appointment with her big family... She asked me to come with her family... but instead of joining her family, we went to separate restaurant... and talked for hours... She let me pull out the burden I have inside... she's really comforting me...
She told me the things that I've never heard before about me... She told me about my strength... my weakness and how I should cope with all of my burdens...
I really appreciate what she has done to me... I owe her HUGE time...
So grateful to have her as my best friend, dearest neighbor, and of course my shoulder to cry on ...
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